My Story

A cleft lip and pallet is a deformed upper lip and pallet. It is when the lip and pallet have a gap. It can effect the eyes, nose, cheeks and forehead. It can also disable you in speech, where as you cannot pronounce some sounds correctly. How I know is because I have a cleft lip and palette. I am Ren, I am 12 years old, and this is my story.

I was born in Beijing, China. My parents adopted me when I was around 2. We don’t know my real birthday so we set it on February 2. I was born with a bilateral cleft lip and pallet. I grew up in Aurora, Colorado.

My cleft lip and pallet effect me in many ways. Whenever I go to a new school it is very hard for me. Kids stare at me like I am an alien. This really hurts because I feel like an outsider. Which effects my personality.

My personality is  effected because I feel insecure about myself. When I feel insecure about myself I can be very shy, or very depressing. When I was younger I have thought many times about committing suicide. I felt like doing that because I had no friends, I felt like I had nothing.

I wouldn’t tell my parents about this because I thought they would be mad at me. I thought they would talk about it to a teacher, but I didn’t want anyone to know this. I now don't have suicidal thoughts.

Whenever I have to go under the operating table it is very scary. Every operation effects me in some sort of good way. My surgeries effect my appearance sometimes. I am going to have to get a nose surgery to help me in my speech.
Because I have a cleft lip and pallet I have to go to speech. I have to go to speech because I have some problems with some sounds. I feel like because I have a speech deficiency people don’t want to talk to me.

Whenever someone does talk to me it is most likely because of a conflict. Some how I always end up as the “bad guy” I get into conflicts because people make fun of my lip. One time a boy said that the reason I look like the way I do is because I was dropped on my head when I was a baby. That really hurts me and effects me in school.

Whenever I get insulted I feel like just giving up. I am in to much pain to do anything. Then when I go home I just cry. I would punch my pillow to take out my anger. I would blame myself that I look this way. I would insult myself.

I am handling it better now because I have a journal where I can write my deepest emotions in it. Whenever I write I feel better. I love writing because you can let your emotions just flow out. In the years of having a cleft lip and pallet I realized just to love yourself just the way you are. I realized that if people insult you just smile it off and walk away.

I am Ren Lambert, I am 12 years old, and this is my story.